A CHANCE MEETING...

In April I celebrate the month I started writing Men Dancing, a novel born from the moment I realised that ballet dancer Carlos Acosta must get my train every time he goes to Gatwick…

 April is also the month in which the Men Dancing story begins, so it’s a good time to start reading it! My publisher is happy to help some of you do that – by giving away five signed copies. All you have to do is write a few lines telling us which performer you’d like to meet on a train and how you think it would go! Send them to my website www.cherryradford.co.uk or Facebook Cherry Radford Author Page. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, and multiple entries are permitted. The winners will be announced on Sunday 15^th April.  

Meanwhile, here’s what happened in Men Dancing:

I shouldn’t have been on that train. And I don’t like aisle seats, but the train was full of whooping, rucksacked teenage boys; I had to sit down next to one of those annoying men with their legs wide open to accommodate their wares. He was engrossed in a book, and apparently happy to let me perch half-bottomed on my seat to minimise contact with his admittedly well-sculpted thighs.

 I took out my research papers but thought, sod it, let’s speed up this train, and switched them for the Margot Fonteyn biography. And then I peeled the lid off my coffee and groaned. ‘Want a black coffee anyone? They gave me the wrong one.’

The boys opposite were lolling against each other, guffawing at images on a mobile phone. So I swivelled and held it out to thigh-man, who thanked me with a nod and a flash of curly-lashed black eyes before grabbing the cup. It was enough: my heart thudded, my cheeks boiled. He seemed smaller and slighter. Instead of the famously broad grin there was a closed, weary smile. But it was definitely him. I’d seen him twice that season alone from the front row of the Royal Opera House; his raw masculinity the cause of much prurient speculation in the after-show dinners with Emma.

‘Sugar?’

‘No, no,’ he said into the cup. Of course not; a cruel review had commented on his increasing heaviness, although, glancing down his tightly shirted and jeaned form, there was no evidence of it.

I considered pretending I didn’t know who he was, but my pink cheeks and Fonteyn book were going to make that somewhat unlikely. I wished I’d brushed my hair properly and put black tights on my April legs, tried to think of something to say.

But then, exhaling loudly with the pleasure of the coffee, he prodded Margot’s face.

‘Is good?’

‘Fascinating.’

A lopsided grin. ‘And she has... you know, what happen with her and Nureyev?’

‘Er... It’s not clear. She denied it. And, according to his biography, so did he... but not always... he claims she miscarried his baby.’ I was loosening up, proud to share my research. I took a breath and forged on: ‘But frankly, she slept with most of her other partners, so why on earth wouldn’t she?’

‘Exactamente. Why not?’ He laughed, clearly comfortable in this territory. ‘Worked hard, she deserve it.’ He tilted his head back on his long, powerful neck and gulped down more coffee.

The boy opposite was arranging his hands in a heart shape and pointing at Alejandro and then me, prompting a loud snort and rocking from his mate.

Then I thought that was probably it, so I put my bag on the floor and opened my book to read. Or pretend to. But his book was closed. I sneaked a look at him and found myself meeting his gaze.

‘Are you going to Gatwick? Going back home?’ This was probably alright: the documentary had dwelt on his homesickness for Cuba.

There was a beat where he seemed to hesitate, registering that I knew who he was. ‘Yes. Rehearse, performance, then little holiday before return for Giselle. You go to Opera House?’

‘Yes, but more often to Sadler’s Wells – just down the road from work. Easier to persuade friends to come with me. But I went to Manon a couple of weeks ago – can never tire of that ballet.’

‘Mine?’ he asked, a slight grin playing around his lips.

‘No. But I saw you in it last year.’

‘So why not this time? You don’t like my Des Grieux?’

This was weird: why on earth should he care what some woman on a train thought about one of his roles, when all his performances sold out months ahead?

‘No... I mean, yes, I did... But I saw you in Mayerling, I really liked you in that.’ Liked you: rather inappropriate for such a violent, passionate role.

We were coming into East Croydon. Half way to Gatwick. I wondered how I was going to feel when he got out: certainly not in a fit state for reading the research papers.

‘Why you not like my Des Grieux?’ he persisted.

‘I didn’t say that!’ I said, forcing a laugh, but he didn’t return my smile. The critics might like an occasional carp, but maybe it’d been a long time since anyone had been less than ecstatic about his performance to his face. Des Grieux: the lovesick, gullible theology student. I’d said to Emma, ‘He just doesn’t do humility, does he? Nice costume though.’

‘I dunno. He’s a passive, soppy character. Not really you.’ I was relieved to see him nodding. ‘But what do I know?’

‘I think you’re right.’ He looked down at my bag. ‘So where you work?’

‘At a hospital in the City. I do research... on contact lens-related infections.’

‘You are doctor?’

‘A vision scientist.’

‘Contact lenses are dangerous?’

‘Not very often. But a lot of people wear them, so we have to find out how to make them safer.’

‘And after a day of that, you eye people go to Sadler’s Wells. I like that. I like the audience there – all different, and young, not like at Opera House – lots of crazy ladies.’

‘Don’t say that, I’m one of those and proud of it!’

‘No, no!’ he said, laughing, his large warm hand shaking my shoulder rather more powerfully than intended, my book falling between my legs to the floor with a loud clap.

‘Ay – perdón.’ He swiftly bent down to pick it up, the hairs on his arm brushing against my knee with pinprick intensity, and the back of his curly dark head so near, and so neat and boyish, that I wanted to touch him there. And then he was up again, putting the book into my hand with an unexpectedly embarrassed smile that left me giddy.

‘So... you must find all this difficult to cope with,’ I said, waving my hand at the windowful of blasted trees and slanting rain. The climate: couldn’t I do better than that? He followed my hand obediently and looked outside, then back at me with a furrowed brow. ‘The weather. Not what you’re used to.’

‘Oh,’ he said, breaking into a smile. ‘Yes. Is very difficult. Easy to be sad. And I miss the sea too.’ He was reaching into his pocket; in my stupefied state I thought he was going to take out a photo of home. ‘We have to show ticket,’ he said, his hot breath on my ear as he yanked the ticket out, along with a shower of coins that clattered and twirled on the floor. I bent down to help him pick them up. They were all over the place, but somehow we both went for the same coin and collided.

‘Ow!’ We clutched our heads.

‘Aren’t you dancers supposed to have spatial awareness or something?’ I asked, laughing with the pain. ‘How’s yours?’

‘Is bad. Maybe piece of your brain go in my head. I will know if now I can do matemáticas.’

‘Or maybe a bit of yours has gone in mine.’

‘Well...’ started Alejandro, his hand to his mouth, but the ticket inspector was suddenly in front of us.

I opened my bag and dug around, lifting out a cardigan and a bag of Maltesers before finding my pass and letting the man move on.

‘Ah! Is big bag.’ My turn to look puzzled. ‘I like these very much,’ he said, pointing to the Maltesers. ‘Please, we share now, together?’

I looked at his face: the broad grin, the eyebrows crinkled in mock despair. And I thought, what I want to share now, together, is a kiss. Nothing major, just a firm brief one, with my hands either side of your cheeky face. Or maybe in your soft curly hair.

‘Why not,’ I said, and started trying to open the bag. I usually did it with my teeth, but that didn’t seem hygienic for sharing. So I quickly ripped along the dotted line, even though I’d made that mistake before... ‘Oh for f…!’ Chocolate balls sprayed into the air, pattered on to the floor and started running madly all over the place.

‘Sorry,’ I said to the smart elderly ladies the other side of the carriage, and watched as they carefully levered themselves up and crunched their way out of the area. ‘Sorry about that,’ I said, turning to Alejandro, but he had his head down, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

Then he looked up and mock-punched me. ‘Why you do this? I’m hungry.’

‘I don’t know, I’m always dropping everything.’

‘Yes, I am the same. Not ballerinas of course, or I don’t have job, but all other things.’ He took the ripped bag from me. ‘Is there more? Ah yes... siete, ocho, nueve... four and half each.’

He turned to me, took my wrist as I cupped my hand. We ate two at a time and murmured our pleasure.

‘Why you think we drop everything?’ he asked.

‘I think... well, for me... it’s because I’m always thinking of something else. Either I’m too excited about something, or I’m in a daydream.’ I blushed as it occurred to me that I was talking to the likely new star of my daydreams.

But he was looking down, pensive. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I think this is for me too.’ I tried to imagine what he might daydream about: surely he already had everything he wanted? He took the last ball out of the bag. ‘So... you want first or second half?’ He was looking back up at me with a broad grin.

‘What?’

‘Is skill I have, I go first.’ He put the Malteser to his mouth and bit it, then proudly held up a perfect semi-sphere between his thumb and forefinger. ‘Abre. Open.’

‘It’s okay, you—’

‘No. I do this for you. Open.’ I felt his steadying hand on my arm, his fingers on my lips as he put it in my mouth. We smiled at each other, looked down at our laps. He put his head on one side and seemed to be about to say something.

But then I noticed the blue Gatwick signs, saw him follow my gaze, heard the train’s rhythm slowing. I sat in a daze and watched him stand up and reach for his bag on the luggage rack – revealing a taut band of golden tummy and the black band of his boxers – and lift it down, pillow-light, onto the opposite seat. I was mumbling something like ‘Here you are then’ when he grabbed my hand and kissed it firmly, saying ‘Encantado’. And then, with the fluency of a cat, he was out of the train and striding swiftly away down the platform.

It was over. He hadn’t asked for my name; he hadn’t looked back. Why would he? It didn’t matter: it had been special, something I would always remember. But it was suddenly very cold in the train. I moved over to his seat and felt his warmth on my thighs, smiled at the Maltesers still comically rolling around the floor, put a finger to my lips. His scent stayed with me. So did his grin and laughter. Somehow he wasn’t going away. It couldn’t be over.

MOTHERS’ DAY – DO I DESERVE IT?

Mother’s Day. Do I deserve it? Let’s see. The baby stage – hopeless with the paraphernalia (once trapped my finger in the pram for a full fifteen minutes). The toddler stage – Jesus. Only survived by spending every possible moment within the sticky but reassuring walls of soft-play gyms. Primary school age – conversation, books, music, football… at last, the motherhood I’d dreamed about. But by then I had a second child, who – although now delightful at 13 – has Asperger’s Syndrome and Attention Deficit; we had a chequered and often painful first ten years. The adolescent stage – I never discuss work-in-progress! But if you read Men Dancing you’ll form an opinion as to my success there. I’m hoping to redeem myself with the young adult period.  

Meanwhile I’ll leave you with this not completely fictional excerpt in which Rosie takes her Aspie son to his second dance class:

His shoulders were going up: not a good sign.

‘That’s Charles,’ he said loudly. Oh dear. The same height as Kenny, meaning he’d be two years older and therefore about four years ahead in social skills. Charles walked past with a gracious nod and sat down to change into his dancing shoes.

‘I want those,’ Kenny said.

‘Please may I have. Of course we’ll buy you some, once we know you’re...’ Once we know you’re not going to get kicked out. Because otherwise they’ll hurt me every time I open your wardrobe – just like the taekwondo outfit, Arties overall and Dolphins swimming cap do.

The teacher arrived with her register and cash box. She was vast; do these ballroom dancing teachers so miss competing, when they get older, that they eat themselves into elegant battleships? But fat and jolly she was not. She took my four pounds without a word and left me wondering whether I was supposed to watch the class, in case Kenny became difficult, or wait in the cramped reception area – where pictures of her and her protégées encouraged you to question whether you were wasting her time.

I took a seat just outside the door. Kenny was talking at the black-girl-with-wet-hands, who smiled briefly and moved away. Battleship was demonstrating the steps, her thickly muscular legs improbably supported by dainty high-heeled feet. They were asked to pair up. In my salsa class the out-numbered men are immediately grabbed like musical chairs, but for these pre-teen girls this potential new partner, a real boy for heaven’s sake, seemed to be surrounded by a negative force field.

There was music now – a passionate Latin number that could have been a tango. A couple of older girls arrived early for the next class and pushed the door open wider.

‘A new boy – look.’

The other girl nudged her out of the way. ‘Oh yes.’ She watched for a while. ‘Charles doesn’t look too happy.’

So I wondered whether Kenny had latched on to Charles and bored him to bits. Or taken offence at a misread facial expression and stuck his leg out. Either way, distraction of the class star would be a heinous and probably unforgivable crime.

The girls sat down to share a bag of crisps so I took up their position. But I couldn’t see Kenny; either he was on the far side of the room or he’d been told to sit down.

So I went back to my chair and texted one of the most talented male dancers in the country. Then sat daydreaming about him teaching my oddball son to dance salsa... with one of his sister’s sunny-natured daughters. That’s it; she and her children would be over from Cuba and staying with him in his flat, in the spare room. He’d move the sofa over to make space and put on a Cuban CD, show Kenny how to lead his niece put his shoulders down and look like a man...

‘Kenny’s Mum?’ She turned on her heel before I could answer.

Shit. I was tempted to say no, we’re leaving, fuck-you. After all, it wasn’t school; I didn’t have to listen to her. But I followed her into the studio, where other parents, I now noticed, had been sitting on chairs watching.

‘I just need to catch Charles’ mother,’ she said, sailing over to her.

‘Did you have a good time?’ I asked a spinning Kenny.

‘A good time? It’s good time, good timing, time to be good...’ I nodded and looked away. He was on overdrive; there was no chance of getting anything sensible out of him.

She’d floated back.

‘Have you ever done any of this kind of dancing yourself?’

‘No, I er…’ 

‘You’re going to have to learn.’

Ah. Here we go. Like Taekwondo. I’m going to have to be here at every lesson, a sort of Dance Learning Support Assistant, and if I can’t she won’t have Kenny in the class.

‘Or Kenny could come for one-to-one.’

Aha. Like the swimming teacher. At a monstrous price but that’s what Disability Living Allowance is for. But Kenny would want to dance with a little girl, not a battleship.

‘Or maybe both, because it’s early days I know... but I’m looking at Blackpool.’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘The Junior Dance Festival. Probably with Keisha.’

And I thought, male dancers: a rarity. Musical chairs. Probably any boy that can be sow’s-eared into it will do. ‘He’s only had two lessons. Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to tell? And... my husband did tell you, about Kenny...?’

‘Yes, but if he wants to do it... Show Mummy your waltz Kenny.’ She patted his shoulders firmly. ‘We’ve got a lot of work to do on these,’ she said. I nodded.

She pressed the button of the music player and counted him in. He took hold of her and waltzed her round the room as if she were Cinderella.