‘Facebook yes, but I’m just not doing this Twitter thing,’ I emailed my publisher.
An emergency meeting. An impossibly young thing from
Marketing, an illustrated hand-out. Sipping tea while watching myself
christened @CherryRad and assigned a ‘profile’ that would surely make the
Twitterworld think I was the sassy salsera
on my book cover – was that a good idea?
Although a flutter of interest when a handsome famous ballet
dancer suddenly popped up and ‘followed’ me – perhaps thinking Men Dancing was
a technique book. Next came a grinning fellow author woman from Texas with whom
I was a perfect match with regards to genre, piano playing and chocolate. I was
allowed home once I’d been seen graciously reciprocating their followships.
The idea, I’d been told, was to attract Followers. Before my novel was even out. Utterly
ludicrous. But I set to, feverishly clicking Follow next to every woman
claiming to be an avid reader and/or Strictly Come Dancing fan. Tweets: 0,
Following: 83, Followers: 7 (but including my publisher and the local pizza
take-away). Occasionally pausing to reward myself with some non-productive
following of top flamenco artists, marvelling at their real-time exchanges
about a show or a plate of tapitas.
Impossibly Young emailed to say well done, but now Tweet. Meaning create clever <140
character sentences designed to sell the book, you-are-a-writer-after-all. I wasn’t sure about that, but nervously
put out thoughts about the usual things I bang on about – writing, Spanish, music,
dance and chocolate.
Something happened. A host of characters started to emerge –
I felt like I’d fallen down a hole and entered an extraordinary new world. Yes,
people do say what they’ve had for breakfast. Yes, I’m ‘followed’ by
individuals with inexplicable motives (war veterans, hot rod racers and female
porn stars), and a stream of people shouting about their novel or steadily
working their way through a book of quotes. Can’t like everyone; worlds are
like that. But I now enjoy the company of some wonderful human beings with whom
I’ve got much more in common than many of the people I call friends. They’ve
taken over my instruction; questions about Retweets and #hashtags prompted a
flurry of helping hands. We share our passions and humour, good days and bad.
I’m now Tweets: 589, Following: 347, Followers: 400. Books Sold: who cares. Oh, and I’m swapping languages with my
favourite flamenco artist in the vaulted Direct Messaging area.
#Whowouldhavethought.
